April 1. With problems on the retail development side of Alexander Farm, local officials have been seeking a use for the 55-acre site. Thanks to a federal grant, the former farm will be put to use as a DOT testing ground for police vehicles.

Officials were attracted to Alexander Farm by the completion of the interior connecting roads within the site. Special entrances will be erected on both Catawba Avenue and Westmoreland Road, and the town will receive tax reimbursements from the feds—enough to generate a small tax cut for property owners.

Two aspects of the agreement may meet resistance from residents:

Rocky River Regional Wastewater plant

—The long-awaited widening of West Catawba will be postponed

—Speed limits on both West Catawba and Westmoreland will be reduced to 30 mph.

The required connecting roads should be done and ready for use by the DOT on or about May 31.

—Happy April Fools Day. This isn’t even slightly true. Today’s newsletter will be out at lunchtime.